I’ve gotten a lot of questions about coming out, and instead of answering them all separately, I figured I’ll just put up a guide with all of the best tips I can offer!
- When Only come out when you are ready. Never feel pressure to come out at any point, because it is your decision to do it. Allow yourself some time to decide when would be best for you.
Also consider when would be best for who you are coming out to. If they just got fired from their job and are furious with the world around them, you might want to give it a day or two before you talk to them.
- Who Deciding which people to come out to can be a tough decision as well. Ask yourself a few questions to decide who might be good to tell.
-Can I trust them?
-Do I want them to know?
-Will I be in danger by telling them?
-How will they react to it? (Be honest with this one. If you think they might get angry and yell or even hurt you, protect yourself. Your safety comes first, always.)
Only come out to people you want to come out to. There is no reason you have to come out to people who you don’t trust. If you don’t want someone to know, for whatever reason, that is fine.
- How This is really up to you. Do whatever feels natural to you and your situation. If that is simply sitting someone down and having a chat, that’s fine. Letter? Great. Casually slip it into a conversation? Cool. Skywriting? Dramatic, I like it.
- Be Ready to Educate Not everyone knows a lot about the LGBTQ+ community, and not everyone knows what every gender and sexuality are. Have an easy to understand definition to tell them. Be prepared to answer any questions they may have. It might even be helpful to give a few websites or other things as resources for them to look at.
- Know Your Audience Telling your best friend probably isn’t the same as telling your grandfather. Chances are, different people will have different reactions. Go in thinking about how a specific person might take it, and prepare yourself accordingly.
- Bad Reactions Some people may respond negatively. Have an escape plan ready (so you can leave the situation if needed) and have someone you can go to (friend/family member/even public place). Keep yourself safe at all costs, please.
Also know that you do not need permission or acceptance from everyone to still be your identity. Their denial or hostility does not define your gender or sexuality. Move on, and realize others will not react the same way.
- Breathe By this, I mean relax. I know that can be one of the toughest things to do in this situation, but it’s important. Take deep breaths, slow down, and go into this as calmly as possible.
Coming out can be hard, but it can also be really, really great. Go in positively and hope for the best, but always know that no matter what, there are people who love you and will always be there for you.